Something I don't understand...

At the end of last semester, I thought I had a revelation. I thought I really learned something about myself. It was something that I needed to work on. Something that needed to change quickly if I was going to be able to do this Seminary/Ministry thing. So I decided to start sharing this BIG revelation with some friends. I have told about three people my BIG revelation and I get the same reaction from all of them. "Wow Em! I never noticed that about you before!" (This phrase is dripping in sarcasm every time, by the way)

This has made three main questions come to mind...
Why is it that everyone else can see something about me, but I cannot?
And why is that my BIG revelation is something that I see no one else struggle with?
How do I change this about me?

This is the revelatioin, are you ready for it? Apparently if you know me at all, you know it already.

I have very little self-confidence in my abilities. I have a little bit more when it comes to the ministry/call of God aspect, but that little I have there totally becomes obsolete when you consider academics. I make up excuses for what I am upset about when most days it all comes back to the fact that I have no belief in my mind that I can actually do this work set out before me. And most of the time my mind is way too busy comparing my papers/grades/ministry setting/calling to others while simultaneously finding the faults with my stuff to even worry about a paper that is due the next week....

I don't know who reads this...and I don't know what you could even tell me about self-confidence. And I don't know if this is even a valid feeling for someone like me to have.

I am blessed. I am getting a MASTER'S degree. I have a roof over my head. I have extra money at the end of each month.

Why can't I be confident?...only God knows, I guess.